globalized munich

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RC had some business in munich yesterday so i came along for the ride and spent the day wandering around town.

i was trying to focus on the city's history and architecture but had a hard time since i was being bombarded by neon signs everywhere.  as i walked to and fro i formulated an entire rant on the evils of globalization in my head but i am going to spare myself and you the headache... 

cheerio!

=  ) st 

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i made it!

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i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to be here.  of course very excited to see him!  ravensburg is really very cute (i feel like i moved to disneyland - gabled roofs and cobblestone streets ... the whole bit).  his friends are very nice (all around my age) and have welcomed me so warmly (not what i expected - germans are kinda reserved.  but none of them are german: there's the guy from nepal with his belgian girlfriend and the irish lad with the girl from god knows where).  hearing and seeing germans everywhere is going to take some getting used to.  luckily his friends don't speak german at all, which is great cause it appears that every time i open my mouth something english comes out until i concentrate on speaking german.  

it's 4:30am right now and i am wide awake (surprising since i hardly slept on the plane.  although i reserved a window seat i ended up in an aisle seat right next to the bathroom with people practically standing on my feet all night and several non-stop-screaming children behind me) ... my internal clock is all screwed up.  but who cares?  it's not like i have to get up to go to work any time soon.

no phone yet, or shoes, for that matter, since delta (i don't know how you can out up with them david) managed to leave one of my suitcases in san francisco ... and that after i had to pay $150 for bringing what they call "excess baggage" but i refer to as "my life". 

but it's all good,  i'm on vacation and refuse to get stressed out over such trivialities.

so yeah, it's surreal being here but all in all i am loving it!  

=  ) st

p.s. there's a SUBWAY (yeah, the crappy sandwich kind) in the historic town square!  globalization truly is a bitch!

p.p.s. did i mention that i can see the alps from here?  ... surreal!

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a farewell toast (from the musical "rent")

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i raise my glass, you bet your ass to ... la vie bohème!

to days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad.

to loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension.

to riding your bike midday past the three piece suits, to fruits, to no absolutes, to absolut, to choice, to the village voice, to any passing fad.

to hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese, to leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo, to huevos rancheros, and maya angelou.

to emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion, creation, vacation and mucho masturbation, compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new.

to sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo, ginsberg, dylan, cunningham and cage, lenny bruce, langston hughes.

to the stage, to uta, to Buddha, pablo neruda, to why dorothy and toto went over the rainbow to blow off auntie em.

to bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, pee wee herman, german wine, turpentine, gertrude stein, antonioni, bertolucci, kurosawa, carmina burana.

to apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy, vaclav havel, the sex pistols, 8bc, to no shame, never playing the fame game, to marijuana.

vive la vie bohème!

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la vie bohème

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what is "la vie bohème" you ask? well, wikipedia (do people still use webster’s dictionaries?) states “bohemians are associated with unorthodox or antiestablishment political or social viewpoints, which were often expressed through non-marital sexual relations, frugality, and/or voluntary poverty."  what??!

essentially it is just about living beyond convention.

as much as i hate labels and struggle to free myself from them, “bohemian” is one i can’t help but accept … gladly. see here’s why:

“bohemia is an atmosphere, a way of life, a state of mind. it’s a backlash against the bourgeois, mass market, easy access culture. it’s the apolitical freedom of ideas, clothing and behaviors gently outside the norm.

bohemians cross cultures and integrate mantras, philosophies, substances and clothing seamlessly into everyday life. bohemians despise authority, the status quo and, because they are often broke, capitalism and consumerism.

bohemians revolt against dress codes, the circadian clock, business hours, temperance, established mores, politics, the conventional idea of a work ethic and traditional living arrangements.

bohemians see all rules and most laws as an infringement of their personal freedom. bohemians have the courage to follow an ideal and forsake security; to alienate family and friends; to be, as jack kerouac put it, “yourself at whatever cost”. bohemians have the moral courage to wrestle with self-doubt, take risks, revolutionize, dismantle and shock, to embrace estrangement, controversy and poverty.

bohemians are spiritually lustful, loathe labor but love pleasure and excess. bohemians are free spirits who believe in freedom of expression.“

thank you laren stover for articulating this and writing the “bohemian manifesto”.

see i’ve been a closet bohemian my whole life and it is time for me to finally walk my talk. so in celebration of me coming out of the closet and embracing my bohemian self i am changing my blog title to "la vie bohème".

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seven rules for living

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1.) always be prepared for the best of times and the worst of times.

2.) when you look at the world try to see something new.

3.) don't steal nothing you can't take and make your own.

4.) to thine own self be true. know who you are.

5.) don't hurry love.

6.) il faut vivre et non seulement exister. one must live and not just exist.

7.) make your own rules and then break every one of them. rules are meant to be broken.

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animal spirit guides

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my friend erika just returned from her southwest road trip and emailed me a picture. it just so happened to be of a crow in front of this gorgeous backdrop. looking at it i realized that i am constantly surrounded by crows. i see them almost on a daily basis. i few weeks ago i walked out of a store to find this large beautiful black bird sitting on top of my car looking and cawing at me.

obviously there has got to be a deeper meaning to this!

so erika, being erika - a little master researcher after my own heart, relayed the following to me:
there is magic wherever crows are. they give us the message that there is magic alive in our world and this magic is ours to use and create a new world for ourselves.

when you meet a crow, he could be telling you that there will be changes in your life and that possibly you should step by the usual way you view reality and look into the inner realms …walk your talk…be prepared to let go of your old thinking and embrace a new way of viewing yourself and the world.

crows remind us to honor ourselves, our boundaries and limitations, to create the future with anticipation of receiving the gifts the universe bestows when we ask, to stay out of denial, to stay in integrity, to speak our truth. the crow is a sign of change. crow sends the message that we can change our past, our present, and mould our future.

i was wondering what was up with all these crows that seemed to linger about everywhere i went. somewhere along the line i decided to completely dismantle my life, take a huge leap of faith and fly across the ocean for a new start and all of a sudden i understand what they were trying to tell me all this time ...

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the first of many coffee shop blog posts

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so i dragged my laptop out today to find out what these "hotspot" are all about. i know, i know welcome to the 21st century, but what can i say ... i am an analog girl in a digital world. anyway so i'm sitting here at starbucks (in beautiful oakland, california) with my tea and laptop giddy with excitement.

i log on and of course the shit does not work! their server seems to be down. this is just the latest on a long list of reason why i hate starbucks or the "evil empire" as i lovingly refer to it. i can't believe i just gave them $1.45 for this tea. principally i will go through great lengths to not support the evil empire. god i hope the germans have not gone starbucks-crazy as well.

i am so thrown that i don't even know what i was going to write about. i suppose i could pack up and go to mcdonald's but i hate them almost as much as i hate starbucks. so back to the office it is!

and so my adventure in wifi failed miserably ... and people wonder why i prefer pen and paper!

= ) st

p.s. james (living, breathing wealth of information) saved the day by taking me to whole foods to scope out their wifi. law & behold their spot was actually a 'hot' one and so i sat contently munching on my california rolls as i finally managed to post this rant.

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12:35pm, 08/02/2008

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i have a one-way ticket home! it's getting serious ...

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countdown to one-woman-exodus (o.w.e.)

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7 weeks to go, or 45 days to be exact.

i wandered around my three bedroom house yesterday and was overwhelmed at the task before me. three things that immediatly came to mind were:

1. why does one person live alone in a three bedroom house?

2. how did i manage to fill up each of these three bedrooms (not to mention the kitchen, breakfast nook, laundry room, dinning room, living room, attic and garage) with stuff?

3. how the hell am i going to pack up all that stuff in such little time?

the fact that i found it necessary to accumulate this much shit speaks of some really deep issues that i'd much rather not look at at this point, but that definitely need to be addressed during my hiatus. also interesting would be how i manged to ignore this "big pink elephant" in my life for so long?

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DailyOm

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a very valuable lesson conveniently delivered to my inbox today ... funny how these things always mysteriously arr ice at just the right item.

We often come into contact with the idea that our best isn’t good enough, as if this were actually possible. If you examine this notion, you will begin to see that it doesn’t make much sense. Your best is always good enough, because it comes from you, and you are always good enough. You may not be able to deliver someone else’s idea of the best (or what's best for you), but the good news is that’s not your burden. You only need to fulfill your own potential, and as long as you remain true to your calling, and always do your best to fulfill your purpose, you don’t need to expect anything more from yourself.

check out www.dailyom.com for more words of wisdom.

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things that make me go "hmmm..."

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for one, the fact that i seem to have an affinity for using songs as blog titles ; )

but seriously ... in one of those currently very rare moments when my mind is not busy plotting my exit i had this somewhat startling realization the other day. i have been dreaming of this off-the-grid-back-to-nature-self-sustainable-life for the longest time now. i saw myself in a self-built small house, some where in the country, with solar panels and wind turbines, with a large organic garden, me in dirty jeans and birkenstocks chasing after my child. that was my utopia. realistically though and in the absence of the financial means to bring this dream to life i saw myself settling into some rural laid back hippie commune. going back to the land, living in harmony with mother earth, working the land and growing my own food. that was my thing ...

but now my only focus is on getting out of here, on moving to the biggest city in all of germany and disappearing amidst the mass of strangers there. the only commonality being that i am shrugging off my current life like a scratchy and wet winter coat. first i thought i must be in the middle of some mental breakdown, obviously triggered by my meeting with my devastatingly handsome englishman. riding a slightly less dramatic train of thought i accused myself of definitely back-tracking, taking the path of least resistance, selling out and abandoning my ideals by falling back into the mainstream life i have been so busy condemning for years now.

but I realize now that this is just a continuation of my journey, that i am just evolving ... not forcing my life down a certain path because i wanted something else just a few months ago. staying here would be forcing it right now; continuing to live on auto-pilot, getting up, going to work, coming home, distracting my ever-questioning, over-analyzing mind with countless hours of tv watching, numbing my wanderlust and home-sickness with yet another bottle of wine would be forcing it right now; denying myself to be free would be forcing it right now.

going back home, taking the time at the mid point of my life to figure out how i want to spend he rest of it that is just me ... evolving.

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p.s. to things that make me go "hmmm..."

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note to self: i am not abandoning all of my ideals i am simply "relocating" them. there is sustainably grown organic food in berlin, in frankfurt and even ravensburg. my green life follows me where ever i go.


what i am abandoning for now is the dream of a curly haired baby. i feel utterly unequipped to handle that kind of a responsibility at the present moment, nor am i confident that i will anytime soon (do i dare say ... ever!?). so i will leave the procreating to others and revisit the issue in another lifetime.

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it's official ...

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... i'm leaving "las vegas"!

just as for sheryl crow the lights are too bright for me around here. i am yearning for a simpler life, a much slower pace, a fresh perspective and so i am going back to the "old world". i am dedicating this summer, autumn and winter to aimless wandering, fearless soul searching and the courageous pursuit of happiness (aka r.c.).

this blog will be a bright red thread of sorts, a way to keep up with my where-abouts, mentally as well as physically, as i trott across europe.

as most people who dare to follow their bliss, i am encountering quite a bit of resistance and discouragement here & there. and while i appreciate every one's concern and advice i am currently guided only by aerosmith's wise adage "life is a journey, not a destination".

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